He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
