There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
