I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
