i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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