it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
