the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
