Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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(253): View more from Washington

I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago

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(281): View more from Texas

So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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(647): View more from Ontario

hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair

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(315): View more from New York

If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".

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(541): View more from Oregon

We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.

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