Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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(203): my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/bisy

Replies (9) Good night (781) Bad night (4124)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.

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(803): Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door. http://tfl.nu/090e

Replies (29) Good night (2271) Bad night (7104)
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(352): View more from Florida

I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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(352): I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green. http://tfl.nu/8k05

Replies (4) Good night (3653) Bad night (1506)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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(856): So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished. http://tfl.nu/vhfi

Replies (4) Good night (3585) Bad night (910)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.

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(704): Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/5883

Replies (10) Good night (3021) Bad night (1454)
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(616): View more from Michigan

On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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(616): On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey. http://tfl.nu/p3t0

Replies (6) Good night (6071) Bad night (1006)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

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(703): You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's. http://tfl.nu/9isl

Replies (16) Good night (1204) Bad night (3469)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

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(573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9

Replies (7) Good night (2677) Bad night (1051)
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(914): View more from New York

I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.

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(914): I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem. http://tfl.nu/p4yj

Replies (3) Good night (1219) Bad night (681)
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(330): View more from Ohio

After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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(330): After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator. http://tfl.nu/loee

Replies (5) Good night (1714) Bad night (663)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.

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(778): Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house. http://tfl.nu/6cay

Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (1108)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

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(973): you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/j1c8

Replies (7) Good night (2614) Bad night (721)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment

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(802): Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment http://tfl.nu/k1ie

Replies (5) Good night (1399) Bad night (416)
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(347): View more from New York

maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life

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(347): maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life http://tfl.nu/rmnc

Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (1025)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

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(931): I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl" http://tfl.nu/ovhn

Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (292)

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