Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
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i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.