I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
