Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
