I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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