I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
