Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
