fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Someone shattered a urinal.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize