was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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