Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
