One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
please come you make the beer taste better
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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