New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
