I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
