Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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