Don't you send me to vm
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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