I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
