ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The adults are the big ones right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
