I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i think my cat just said my name.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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