Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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