Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
