i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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