Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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