remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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