Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
