So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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