she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the raccoons are back...
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