Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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