I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize