New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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