I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
