i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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