I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
