hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
