my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
