My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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