Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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