You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
