dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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