Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
