I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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