What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
