so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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