Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
