maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
