Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
