Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
