wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
