What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
