so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
