but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize