nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
