Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
