apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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